What Gaining Thirty Pounds in Menopause Taught Me About Strength, Food, and Self-Trust
Written by Stephanie Adams Ruff
People ask me often about menopause, weight gain, metabolism, hormones, and what finally helped me feel strong and at home in my body again. I understand the question deeply because I lived it.
During menopause, I gained about thirty pounds over three years.
That was not because I suddenly stopped caring for myself. I was still moving. I was still eating well. I was still doing many of the things that had worked for me for most of my adult life. But my body changed quickly and dramatically, and what had always worked no longer worked in the same way.
It took me about three years to gain the weight, and about six years to lose it.
I share that because I think women deserve honesty. When weight comes on quickly during menopause, the body can become more resistant to change. Hormones, stress, sleep, insulin sensitivity, muscle loss, hunger hormones, nervous system load, and years of diet cycling can all influence how the body responds. [1] It takes patience, consistency, and a much more compassionate approach than most quick-fix programs offer.
I do use HRT now, and it has supported my overall wellbeing, but it took time, discernment, and the right provider support to find an approach that worked for my body. Earlier in the journey, I tried HRT pellets, and that experience was not right for me. So while hormone support has been helpful, HRT was not the magic answer for weight loss. [2] What truly changed things for me were three deeper shifts: strength training, healing my relationship with food, and then dialing in nutrition in a way I could actually sustain.
First, A Little Backstory
I came of age in the 1980s, when our culture was obsessed with very narrow ideals of female bodies, and I have been riding the diet roller coaster for as long as I can remember. My first attempt at “control” was the apple diet in sixth grade. From there came decades of dieting, wellness programs, and even a group therapy experience literally called Diets Don’t Work.
I have read extensively on body psychology and diet culture, and I have invested deeply in training and education around fitness, nutrition, wellness, and longevity. And still, diet culture found its way into me early.
I remember sitting in the bathtub as a child and noticing a small roll on my belly. I must have been seven or eight. I remember thinking, Am I fat?
That moment still makes me ache. Diet culture had already crept into my body before I even really understood what it was.
For most of my adult life, I maintained a weight that felt healthy and comfortable for my frame. I moved my body regularly, ate well, and felt strong. Then, in my early fifties, as I entered menopause, my body began to change quickly and dramatically. Without changing how I ate or exercised, I gained thirty pounds in three years.
And I want to be very clear: I was not ignoring it.
During those three years, I tried so many things to understand, stop, or reverse what was happening. I used weight-loss and food-tracking apps. I did intermittent fasting. I tried low-carb and keto-style approaches. I did metabolic and genetic testing. I did food sensitivity testing. I wore a CGM (continuous glucose monitor). I explored hormone support, including HRT pellets at one point — which did not work well for my body and eventually had to be surgically removed.
I share this because I know how many women quietly wonder, What am I doing wrong? Why is nothing working? Is my body broken?
That was part of the heartbreak for me. I was not uneducated about food, movement, or health. I had decades of experience as a trainer, nutrition consultant, yoga educator, and movement professional. I was not unwilling to work hard. I was trying hard — sometimes too hard — and still my body was changing in ways I did not fully understand yet.
That experience humbled me. It also taught me something I now believe deeply: menopause weight gain is not always a simple willpower issue, calorie issue, or discipline issue. It is often a whole-body transition involving hormones, muscle, metabolism, stress, sleep, nervous system load, insulin sensitivity, genetics, recovery, and the long-term effects of diet culture. [1]
I tried many things. I even did DNA testing, which told me I carried several so-called “fat genes,” including the gene for obesity.
At first, that information felt confusing. But over time, and with better education, I came to understand something important: genetics explain tendencies, not destinies. Genes may influence how our bodies respond, but environment, stress, sleep, trauma, weight cycling, food patterns, movement, stigma, and nervous system load all play enormous roles in how our biology expresses itself. [3]
Genes may influence the terrain, but environment, stress, sleep, movement, nourishment, and culture all shape how that terrain is expressed. [3]
What Finally Changed Things
What finally changed things for me was not another fix. It was a decision to stop trying to fix myself.
A friend mentioned a mindfulness- and moderation-based program at exactly the right moment. It was not flashy. It was not promising dramatic weight loss. It was grounded, compassionate, and honest.
In that program, I decided that there would be no more quick fixes. This is my life right now. My life does not start on Monday, or with the next diet trend. How I choose to move, nourish, and care for my body in every moment contributes to my lifelong experience. And although I have been tempted toward trends or quick fixes, I have sustained that commitment. Any changes I now make are intentional, sustainable, and rooted in respect for my body.
Jill Coleman said something during that process that landed deeply in me as a Nutrition Consultant and Trainer. The essence was: “To put a client in a caloric deficit when they have not healed their relationship with food is irresponsible.”
I began the slow, real work of healing my relationship with food — and with my body. I learned to listen instead of control. To eat with satisfaction instead of fear. To appreciate what my body does for me every day rather than negotiating my worth through its size.
I made a choice that felt radical at the time: I decided to truly love and accept my body now.
I bought clothes that fit my body as it was, instead of withholding comfort as punishment or “motivation.” I stopped chasing a former version of myself and started living in the one I actually inhabited.
That was six years ago. And here is the truth: I feel more at ease in my body now than I ever did when I was living in constant negotiation with it — not because it changed first, but because my relationship with it did.
Food no longer occupies the constant background noise of my mind. I do not brace around enjoyment or negotiate with myself about what I have “earned.” I make conscious choices, not compulsive ones. I move my body because it feels grounding and enlivening, not because I am trying to correct it.
What has grown in place of control is something quieter and far more powerful: trust.
Menopause revealed the places where I was still holding myself at a distance — where I was relying on control instead of relationship. Gaining thirty pounds helped me meet the deeper layers of diet culture, self-judgment, and fear that even years of education and practice had not fully dismantled.
It asked me to live the teachings I had been sharing with others, not as theory, but as devotion.
Strangely, I can now say I am grateful I gained those thirty pounds.
Because peace within has to include the body as it is — not as a project, not as a problem, but as a living, changing expression of life. Liberation does not arrive when we finally get it “right.” It arrives when we stop trying to earn our right to exist comfortably in our own skin, and instead choose to belong to ourselves as we are.
The Three Things That Helped Me Most
1. Strength Training Became the Biggest Shift
The first and most important step, in my experience, is consistent, progressive, sustainable strength training two to four times per week. [4]
For me, this was the biggest dial changer.
My experience with menopause, combined with nearly thirty years as a certified personal trainer and orthopedic exercise specialist, inspired me to develop a program called Strength45.
Strength45 is an innovative metabolic strength program designed specifically for longevity. It combines dumbbell strength training, bodyweight movement, progressive overload, metabolic chains, and rest-based interval training in a 45-minute format that supports sustainable strength, bone health, muscle preservation, cardiovascular capacity, insulin sensitivity, and long-term functional resilience. [4]
What makes Strength45 different is that it is not built around punishment, exhaustion, or the idea that harder is always better. Using principles of SAYF Movement, Strength45 adapts exercises to be performed within a progressive range of motion that supports pain-free, joint-friendly movement while reducing unnecessary strain.
It is a joint-friendly program designed for real bodies — especially people in midlife and beyond, or anyone who wants to age well.
I challenge the common belief that injury is inevitable in strength training. Strength training can be intelligent, progressive, empowering, and sustainable.
Strength45 is metabolic because it trains the body’s ability to use and regulate energy efficiently. By combining strength-based movements with strategic pacing, progressive stimulus, and adequate recovery, the program supports muscle tissue, glucose regulation, cardiovascular demand, mitochondrial function, and post-exercise metabolic response. [4]
At 59, I feel stronger than I ever have, and my joints feel better than they did years ago. That is what I want for other people, too — not just weight loss, but strength, confidence, mobility, and resilience.
Strength45 is offered at Flow Studio 7 times per week:
Strength45 is also offered livestream and by recording when you pre-register for the online version.
Pre-register here:
https://www.flowhoodriver.com/pre-register-for-classes.html
2. I Healed My Relationship With Food
Before I dialed in nutrition, I worked on getting out of the diet cycle.
This part mattered deeply.
I did a program called Moderation 365, which helped me stop chasing quick fixes and instead build a long-term, sustainable relationship with food. The approach was not about making certain foods forbidden. It was about learning to pay attention.
No foods are off limits. Instead, I listen.
For example, I can enjoy something, really taste it, and then notice how I feel. If my body does not feel great afterward, I naturally choose differently next time — without guilt, punishment, or restriction.
That mindset shift took practice. I spent over a year really working with the ideas:
Changes are for life.
My life is right now.
For many women, especially in midlife, diet stress becomes its own metabolic stress. The more we shame, restrict, over-control, or swing between deprivation and overindulgence, the harder it becomes to build a peaceful, sustainable pattern. [5]
Healing my relationship with food did not mean I stopped caring about nutrition. It meant I learned how to care without turning my body into a problem.
3. Then I Dialed In Nutrition
After my relationship with food felt healthier, I returned to tracking macros — but in a much more grounded and sustainable way.
I had tracked what I ate before, but with the Carbon Diet Coach app, I also added the use of a food scale. That helped me understand how much energy was coming in and from what sources. Macro tracking does not have to be a forever thing, but it can be incredibly clarifying. It can show you how you are nourishing yourself, where your protein and fiber are coming from, and how your daily choices are adding up over time. [6]
Before tracking macros this way, I was already doing many things “right.” I ate well. I cared about my health. I was thoughtful about food. I was probably nourishing myself well most of the time. But macro tracking helped me uplevel my understanding so I could nourish myself even better.
Now, maybe I am optimally nourishing myself 97% of the time — and it tastes amazing and feels great. The other 3% of the time, when I am out to dinner with friends or traveling, I do not track my macros. I just eat in a way that feels good, satisfies, and lets me be fully present in my life.
I use Carbon Diet Coach because it adjusts based on actual progress. That has been helpful for me because it keeps the process realistic and data-informed without needing to be obsessive.
For me, a few anchors made a big difference:
Protein supports muscle preservation, strength, recovery, satiety, and metabolic health. [7] Fiber supports gut health, elimination, blood sugar regulation, cholesterol metabolism, and appetite regulation. [8] For fiber, I personally make sure I am getting foods like oats, chia, flax, and often psyllium powder regularly.
It often amazes me to step back and think about the math. If I am consistently overnourishing myself by something like one extra 300-calorie snack each day, that can add up significantly over time — roughly the equivalent of thirty pounds in a year. Of course, the body is not a perfect calculator, and metabolism is more complex than simple math. But the point is important: small daily patterns matter. [9]
We do not have to go on extreme or restrictive diets to make a meaningful difference. It is all about consistency over intensity.
I also became more comfortable with being a little hungry between meals. That was a mindset shift. I realized hunger is not something to fear; it is a normal physiological signal. I can notice it, respond appropriately, and still feel safe. There is also wisdom in allowing digestion to rest. Between meals, the body enters a natural rhythm in which the migrating motor complex — the small intestine’s “housekeeping” pattern — helps move residue and secretions through the digestive tract. This pattern happens during the fasting, or interdigestive, state and is interrupted when we eat frequently. [10]
This simply means the body benefits from rhythm: nourishment, digestion, rest, and return. For many people, creating gentle space between meals can help clarify the difference between physical hunger, stress, thirst, boredom, habit, and the very human desire for comfort.
This is where the practice becomes compassionate rather than controlling. We are not trying to dominate appetite or prove discipline. We are learning to be in relationship with the body: to feed it when it is hungry, to pause when it is satisfied, to notice when we are seeking food for comfort, and to offer ourselves other forms of care when food is not the deeper need.
Peace with the body includes both nourishment and spaciousness.
That was different from dieting. Dieting often creates fear around hunger. Sustainable nutrition helped me relate to hunger with more steadiness and trust.
Of course, individual needs vary, especially with hormones, medications, thyroid health, insulin resistance, cholesterol, digestive issues, or a history of disordered eating. This is my lived experience and educational perspective, not a substitute for personalized medical care.
What I’ve Learned
There is no single diet approach that is physically, mentally, emotionally, and sustainably healthy for everyone long-term.
Real change comes from building a foundation your body can trust:
A Few Questions I Hear Often
Is HRT what helped you lose weight?
I do use HRT, and it has supported my overall wellbeing. But it took time, discernment, and the right provider support to find an approach that worked for my body. Earlier in the journey, I tried HRT pellets, and that experience was not right for me.
For me, HRT was not the primary weight-loss tool. The biggest changes came from strength training, healing my relationship with food, and then dialing in nutrition in a sustainable way. [2]
How much strength training do you recommend?
For most people, I recommend two to four times per week. [4]
Two times per week is a strong minimum. Three to four times per week tends to create better results for strength, muscle preservation, metabolic health, and body composition — especially when the training is progressive, sustainable, and joint-friendly. [4]
What makes Strength45 different?
Strength45 is designed for longevity.
It is not about punishment, exhaustion, or chasing soreness. It is about building resilient tissue, strong bones, muscle, metabolic capacity, cardiovascular demand, coordination, balance, and confidence. [4]
We use progressive overload, metabolic chains, rest-based interval training, and SAYF Movement principles so people can build strength within a progressive range of motion that supports pain-free, joint-friendly movement while reducing unnecessary strain.
The goal is not to shrink the body. The goal is to build the physiological capacity to age with strength, energy, adaptability, and freedom.
What about tendons or joint issues?
For tendons, joints, and long-term resilience, remember that tendons adapt more slowly than muscles. In the first several months of consistent strength training, many people do well working with moderate repetitions to fatigue — often around 8–15 reps — while focusing on control, alignment, and steady progression. As your tendons and connective tissues build capacity, heavier weights and lower rep ranges can be introduced more intelligently. [11]
I also love slow strength training for tendon health, especially slow eccentric training. [11]
Eccentric training means emphasizing the lowering phase of a movement. For example, lowering slowly into a squat, lowering weights slowly from a biceps curl, or slowly controlling the descent of a deadlift pattern.
Think two to five seconds on the lowering phase of each rep, at a pace that works for your body.
Lowering something heavy teaches you how to hold challenge without collapsing. It builds resilience not just in your body, but in your nervous system — reminding you that effort can be safe, intensity can be steady, and you can move through both with awareness.
Slow eccentric training can support: [11]
Nuts are a nourishing food, but I think of them primarily as a fat source that contains some protein.
They can absolutely be part of a healthy diet, but if someone is trying to significantly increase protein, nuts usually are not the most efficient way to get there. Fish, chicken, turkey, lean beef, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, tofu, tempeh, edamame, lentils, beans, and high-quality protein powders may be more helpful depending on your preferences and needs. [7]
What if I’m pescatarian or vegan and need more protein?
Pescatarian protein can be very doable with a little planning. Helpful options may include fish, shellfish, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, tofu, tempeh, edamame, lentils, beans, and protein smoothies. [7]
For those who eat vegan, pea protein can be an excellent way to supplement daily protein. The key is to build protein into each meal rather than trying to make up the difference at the end of the day. [7]
How important is fiber?
Fiber has been one of the most important anchors for me. I personally aim for a minimum of 30 grams per day. That usually means being intentional with foods like oats, chia, flax, beans, lentils, vegetables, berries, and daily psyllium powder. [8]
Fiber supports so much more than digestion. It can support gut health, elimination, satiety, cholesterol metabolism, blood sugar regulation, and overall metabolic health. [8]
Can you help me personally?
Yes. I mostly do group work because of limited time, but I do offer some one-on-one consulting.
For nutrition support, it is helpful to bring a few days of what you typically eat and drink. No shame, no judgment. Just write down anything and everything you eat or drink over a typical three to five days.
We can also talk through what your strength and fitness workouts look like. It is just as important to understand whether someone is overtraining as it is to understand whether they are undertraining. Stress matters too — especially for business owners, caregivers, and people carrying a lot of responsibility.
At this life stage, weight can come on quickly, and I do believe it is worth addressing the trend early with care, honesty, and skill. I say this because I know how much harder it can feel once the body has adapted to a new pattern — and I also know that change is possible.
It has taken me years of trial and error, education, and lived experience to understand what actually helps.
My Background and Approach
I am a longevity-focused movement educator, yoga teacher, author, presenter, and founder of Flow Yoga Studio in Hood River, Oregon. I have been teaching and leading community-based movement education for nearly 30 years. I am an ACE Faculty member, ACE Certified Personal Trainer, ACE Orthopedic Exercise Specialist, E-RYT 500, YACEP, AYC Level 3 Yoga Teacher, and the creator of SAYF Yoga and Movement Education and SAYF Myofascial Integration. I also hold a B.S. from Washington State University and am certified through BodyMind Academy as a Fitness and Nutrition Consultant.
My work bridges yoga philosophy, biomechanics, strength training, nervous system education, myofascial health, metabolic conditioning, and sustainable movement practices for women across the lifespan. With decades of experience in yoga, fitness, cycling, strength conditioning, nutrition education, and teacher training, I specialize in helping people move through midlife and menopause with greater strength, confidence, mobility, metabolic health, and self-trust.
In my Strength45 approach, metabolic fitness is not about burning calories or shrinking the body. It is about building the physiological capacity to age with strength, energy, adaptability, and freedom.
My perspective on menopause and longevity is deeply personal. Over three years during menopause, I gained thirty pounds despite doing “all the right things.” I am now grateful for that experience because it taught me so much about metabolism, hormones, body image, diet culture, strength, and self-trust — wisdom I now share with my students and clients.
Over the last six years, I have become leaner, stronger, and healthier than ever before, and I have never felt better. I will turn 60 in February 2027.
My broader approach to longevity is rooted in the belief that aging well is not about pushing harder, shrinking ourselves, or chasing youth. It is about building resilient tissue, strong bones, metabolic health, nervous system capacity, emotional honesty, and a more compassionate relationship with the body.
We do not have to choose between strength and softness. We do not have to choose between discipline and peace. We can build strong bodies and heal our relationship with them at the same time.
That, to me, is the deeper work of menopause, metabolism, and longevity.
It is about more than losing weight.
It is about coming home to yourself.
Sources & Further Reading
[1] The Menopause Society. “Midlife Weight Gain.” MenoNote.
This source explains that midlife and menopause are associated with changes in weight, body composition, abdominal fat distribution, sleep, stress, and metabolic health.
https://menopause.org/wp-content/uploads/for-women/MenoNote-Weight-Gain.pdf
[2] The North American Menopause Society. “The 2022 Hormone Therapy Position Statement of The North American Menopause Society.” Menopause. 2022.
This position statement explains that hormone therapy is effective for menopause symptoms and may have favorable effects on abdominal fat and diabetes risk, but it is not considered a weight-loss drug.
https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/fulltext/2022/07000/the_2022_hormone_therapy_position_statement_of_the.4.aspx
[3] Qi, L., and Cho, Y. A. “Gene-Environment Interaction and Obesity.” Nutrition Reviews. 2008.
This review discusses how genetic tendencies interact with environmental and lifestyle factors such as diet and physical activity in the development of obesity.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3683966/
[4] American College of Sports Medicine. “Physical Activity Guidelines.”
This resource summarizes physical activity recommendations, including muscle-strengthening activities for all major muscle groups at least two days per week.
https://acsm.org/education-resources/trending-topics-resources/physical-activity-guidelines/
[5] Strohacke, K., Carpenter, K. C., and McFarlin, B. K. “Consequences of Weight Cycling: An Increase in Disease Risk?” International Journal of Exercise Science. 2009.
This review discusses weight cycling, physiological adaptations during weight loss, and factors that may contribute to regain, supporting the importance of sustainable approaches rather than repeated quick-fix dieting.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4241770/
[6] Burke, L. E., Wang, J., and Sevick, M. A. “Self-Monitoring in Weight Loss: A Systematic Review of the Literature.” Journal of the American Dietetic Association. 2011.
This systematic review supports dietary self-monitoring as a useful behavior-change strategy for increasing awareness and supporting weight-management efforts.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3268700/
[7] Nunes, E. A., Colenso-Semple, L., McKellar, S. R., et al. “Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Protein Intake to Support Muscle Mass and Function in Healthy Adults.” Journal of Cachexia, Sarcopenia and Muscle. 2022.
This review discusses protein intake in relation to resistance training, muscle mass, and strength outcomes.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8978023/
[8] Mayo Clinic. “Dietary Fiber: Essential for a Healthy Diet.”
This resource summarizes how dietary fiber supports digestion, cholesterol, blood sugar regulation, satiety, and overall health, and includes examples of high-fiber foods such as oats, beans, fruits, vegetables, and psyllium.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/fiber/art-20043983
[9] Hall, K. D., and Chow, C. C. “Why Is the 3500 kcal per Pound Weight Loss Rule Wrong?” International Journal of Obesity. 2013.
This article explains why body-weight change is dynamic rather than perfectly linear, while still supporting the broader idea that consistent energy patterns matter over time.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3859816/
[10] Deloose, E., Janssen, P., Depoortere, I., and Tack, J. “The Migrating Motor Complex: Control Mechanisms and Its Role in Health and Disease.” Nature Reviews Gastroenterology & Hepatology. 2012.
This review describes the migrating motor complex as a cyclic motility pattern of the stomach and small intestine that occurs during fasting/interdigestive periods and is interrupted by feeding.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22450306/
[11] Harris-Love, M. O., Seamon, B. A., Gonzales, T. I., et al. “Eccentric Exercise: Adaptations and Applications for Health and Performance.” Journal of Functional Morphology and Kinesiology. 2021.
This review explains eccentric exercise and discusses muscle and tendon adaptations, strength development, and applications for health, rehabilitation, and performance.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8628948/
During menopause, I gained about thirty pounds over three years.
That was not because I suddenly stopped caring for myself. I was still moving. I was still eating well. I was still doing many of the things that had worked for me for most of my adult life. But my body changed quickly and dramatically, and what had always worked no longer worked in the same way.
It took me about three years to gain the weight, and about six years to lose it.
I share that because I think women deserve honesty. When weight comes on quickly during menopause, the body can become more resistant to change. Hormones, stress, sleep, insulin sensitivity, muscle loss, hunger hormones, nervous system load, and years of diet cycling can all influence how the body responds. [1] It takes patience, consistency, and a much more compassionate approach than most quick-fix programs offer.
I do use HRT now, and it has supported my overall wellbeing, but it took time, discernment, and the right provider support to find an approach that worked for my body. Earlier in the journey, I tried HRT pellets, and that experience was not right for me. So while hormone support has been helpful, HRT was not the magic answer for weight loss. [2] What truly changed things for me were three deeper shifts: strength training, healing my relationship with food, and then dialing in nutrition in a way I could actually sustain.
First, A Little Backstory
I came of age in the 1980s, when our culture was obsessed with very narrow ideals of female bodies, and I have been riding the diet roller coaster for as long as I can remember. My first attempt at “control” was the apple diet in sixth grade. From there came decades of dieting, wellness programs, and even a group therapy experience literally called Diets Don’t Work.
I have read extensively on body psychology and diet culture, and I have invested deeply in training and education around fitness, nutrition, wellness, and longevity. And still, diet culture found its way into me early.
I remember sitting in the bathtub as a child and noticing a small roll on my belly. I must have been seven or eight. I remember thinking, Am I fat?
That moment still makes me ache. Diet culture had already crept into my body before I even really understood what it was.
For most of my adult life, I maintained a weight that felt healthy and comfortable for my frame. I moved my body regularly, ate well, and felt strong. Then, in my early fifties, as I entered menopause, my body began to change quickly and dramatically. Without changing how I ate or exercised, I gained thirty pounds in three years.
And I want to be very clear: I was not ignoring it.
During those three years, I tried so many things to understand, stop, or reverse what was happening. I used weight-loss and food-tracking apps. I did intermittent fasting. I tried low-carb and keto-style approaches. I did metabolic and genetic testing. I did food sensitivity testing. I wore a CGM (continuous glucose monitor). I explored hormone support, including HRT pellets at one point — which did not work well for my body and eventually had to be surgically removed.
I share this because I know how many women quietly wonder, What am I doing wrong? Why is nothing working? Is my body broken?
That was part of the heartbreak for me. I was not uneducated about food, movement, or health. I had decades of experience as a trainer, nutrition consultant, yoga educator, and movement professional. I was not unwilling to work hard. I was trying hard — sometimes too hard — and still my body was changing in ways I did not fully understand yet.
That experience humbled me. It also taught me something I now believe deeply: menopause weight gain is not always a simple willpower issue, calorie issue, or discipline issue. It is often a whole-body transition involving hormones, muscle, metabolism, stress, sleep, nervous system load, insulin sensitivity, genetics, recovery, and the long-term effects of diet culture. [1]
I tried many things. I even did DNA testing, which told me I carried several so-called “fat genes,” including the gene for obesity.
At first, that information felt confusing. But over time, and with better education, I came to understand something important: genetics explain tendencies, not destinies. Genes may influence how our bodies respond, but environment, stress, sleep, trauma, weight cycling, food patterns, movement, stigma, and nervous system load all play enormous roles in how our biology expresses itself. [3]
Genes may influence the terrain, but environment, stress, sleep, movement, nourishment, and culture all shape how that terrain is expressed. [3]
What Finally Changed Things
What finally changed things for me was not another fix. It was a decision to stop trying to fix myself.
A friend mentioned a mindfulness- and moderation-based program at exactly the right moment. It was not flashy. It was not promising dramatic weight loss. It was grounded, compassionate, and honest.
In that program, I decided that there would be no more quick fixes. This is my life right now. My life does not start on Monday, or with the next diet trend. How I choose to move, nourish, and care for my body in every moment contributes to my lifelong experience. And although I have been tempted toward trends or quick fixes, I have sustained that commitment. Any changes I now make are intentional, sustainable, and rooted in respect for my body.
Jill Coleman said something during that process that landed deeply in me as a Nutrition Consultant and Trainer. The essence was: “To put a client in a caloric deficit when they have not healed their relationship with food is irresponsible.”
I began the slow, real work of healing my relationship with food — and with my body. I learned to listen instead of control. To eat with satisfaction instead of fear. To appreciate what my body does for me every day rather than negotiating my worth through its size.
I made a choice that felt radical at the time: I decided to truly love and accept my body now.
I bought clothes that fit my body as it was, instead of withholding comfort as punishment or “motivation.” I stopped chasing a former version of myself and started living in the one I actually inhabited.
That was six years ago. And here is the truth: I feel more at ease in my body now than I ever did when I was living in constant negotiation with it — not because it changed first, but because my relationship with it did.
Food no longer occupies the constant background noise of my mind. I do not brace around enjoyment or negotiate with myself about what I have “earned.” I make conscious choices, not compulsive ones. I move my body because it feels grounding and enlivening, not because I am trying to correct it.
What has grown in place of control is something quieter and far more powerful: trust.
Menopause revealed the places where I was still holding myself at a distance — where I was relying on control instead of relationship. Gaining thirty pounds helped me meet the deeper layers of diet culture, self-judgment, and fear that even years of education and practice had not fully dismantled.
It asked me to live the teachings I had been sharing with others, not as theory, but as devotion.
Strangely, I can now say I am grateful I gained those thirty pounds.
Because peace within has to include the body as it is — not as a project, not as a problem, but as a living, changing expression of life. Liberation does not arrive when we finally get it “right.” It arrives when we stop trying to earn our right to exist comfortably in our own skin, and instead choose to belong to ourselves as we are.
The Three Things That Helped Me Most
1. Strength Training Became the Biggest Shift
The first and most important step, in my experience, is consistent, progressive, sustainable strength training two to four times per week. [4]
For me, this was the biggest dial changer.
My experience with menopause, combined with nearly thirty years as a certified personal trainer and orthopedic exercise specialist, inspired me to develop a program called Strength45.
Strength45 is an innovative metabolic strength program designed specifically for longevity. It combines dumbbell strength training, bodyweight movement, progressive overload, metabolic chains, and rest-based interval training in a 45-minute format that supports sustainable strength, bone health, muscle preservation, cardiovascular capacity, insulin sensitivity, and long-term functional resilience. [4]
What makes Strength45 different is that it is not built around punishment, exhaustion, or the idea that harder is always better. Using principles of SAYF Movement, Strength45 adapts exercises to be performed within a progressive range of motion that supports pain-free, joint-friendly movement while reducing unnecessary strain.
It is a joint-friendly program designed for real bodies — especially people in midlife and beyond, or anyone who wants to age well.
I challenge the common belief that injury is inevitable in strength training. Strength training can be intelligent, progressive, empowering, and sustainable.
Strength45 is metabolic because it trains the body’s ability to use and regulate energy efficiently. By combining strength-based movements with strategic pacing, progressive stimulus, and adequate recovery, the program supports muscle tissue, glucose regulation, cardiovascular demand, mitochondrial function, and post-exercise metabolic response. [4]
At 59, I feel stronger than I ever have, and my joints feel better than they did years ago. That is what I want for other people, too — not just weight loss, but strength, confidence, mobility, and resilience.
Strength45 is offered at Flow Studio 7 times per week:
- Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 5:30 pm
- Saturday at 8:30 am*
- Monday at 10:30 am*
- Tuesday/Thursday at 9:15 am*
Strength45 is also offered livestream and by recording when you pre-register for the online version.
Pre-register here:
https://www.flowhoodriver.com/pre-register-for-classes.html
2. I Healed My Relationship With Food
Before I dialed in nutrition, I worked on getting out of the diet cycle.
This part mattered deeply.
I did a program called Moderation 365, which helped me stop chasing quick fixes and instead build a long-term, sustainable relationship with food. The approach was not about making certain foods forbidden. It was about learning to pay attention.
No foods are off limits. Instead, I listen.
For example, I can enjoy something, really taste it, and then notice how I feel. If my body does not feel great afterward, I naturally choose differently next time — without guilt, punishment, or restriction.
That mindset shift took practice. I spent over a year really working with the ideas:
Changes are for life.
My life is right now.
For many women, especially in midlife, diet stress becomes its own metabolic stress. The more we shame, restrict, over-control, or swing between deprivation and overindulgence, the harder it becomes to build a peaceful, sustainable pattern. [5]
Healing my relationship with food did not mean I stopped caring about nutrition. It meant I learned how to care without turning my body into a problem.
3. Then I Dialed In Nutrition
After my relationship with food felt healthier, I returned to tracking macros — but in a much more grounded and sustainable way.
I had tracked what I ate before, but with the Carbon Diet Coach app, I also added the use of a food scale. That helped me understand how much energy was coming in and from what sources. Macro tracking does not have to be a forever thing, but it can be incredibly clarifying. It can show you how you are nourishing yourself, where your protein and fiber are coming from, and how your daily choices are adding up over time. [6]
Before tracking macros this way, I was already doing many things “right.” I ate well. I cared about my health. I was thoughtful about food. I was probably nourishing myself well most of the time. But macro tracking helped me uplevel my understanding so I could nourish myself even better.
Now, maybe I am optimally nourishing myself 97% of the time — and it tastes amazing and feels great. The other 3% of the time, when I am out to dinner with friends or traveling, I do not track my macros. I just eat in a way that feels good, satisfies, and lets me be fully present in my life.
I use Carbon Diet Coach because it adjusts based on actual progress. That has been helpful for me because it keeps the process realistic and data-informed without needing to be obsessive.
For me, a few anchors made a big difference:
- Around 150g protein per day
- A minimum of 30g fiber per day
- Slow, steady fat loss, around 0.5 pound per week
Protein supports muscle preservation, strength, recovery, satiety, and metabolic health. [7] Fiber supports gut health, elimination, blood sugar regulation, cholesterol metabolism, and appetite regulation. [8] For fiber, I personally make sure I am getting foods like oats, chia, flax, and often psyllium powder regularly.
It often amazes me to step back and think about the math. If I am consistently overnourishing myself by something like one extra 300-calorie snack each day, that can add up significantly over time — roughly the equivalent of thirty pounds in a year. Of course, the body is not a perfect calculator, and metabolism is more complex than simple math. But the point is important: small daily patterns matter. [9]
We do not have to go on extreme or restrictive diets to make a meaningful difference. It is all about consistency over intensity.
I also became more comfortable with being a little hungry between meals. That was a mindset shift. I realized hunger is not something to fear; it is a normal physiological signal. I can notice it, respond appropriately, and still feel safe. There is also wisdom in allowing digestion to rest. Between meals, the body enters a natural rhythm in which the migrating motor complex — the small intestine’s “housekeeping” pattern — helps move residue and secretions through the digestive tract. This pattern happens during the fasting, or interdigestive, state and is interrupted when we eat frequently. [10]
This simply means the body benefits from rhythm: nourishment, digestion, rest, and return. For many people, creating gentle space between meals can help clarify the difference between physical hunger, stress, thirst, boredom, habit, and the very human desire for comfort.
This is where the practice becomes compassionate rather than controlling. We are not trying to dominate appetite or prove discipline. We are learning to be in relationship with the body: to feed it when it is hungry, to pause when it is satisfied, to notice when we are seeking food for comfort, and to offer ourselves other forms of care when food is not the deeper need.
Peace with the body includes both nourishment and spaciousness.
That was different from dieting. Dieting often creates fear around hunger. Sustainable nutrition helped me relate to hunger with more steadiness and trust.
Of course, individual needs vary, especially with hormones, medications, thyroid health, insulin resistance, cholesterol, digestive issues, or a history of disordered eating. This is my lived experience and educational perspective, not a substitute for personalized medical care.
What I’ve Learned
There is no single diet approach that is physically, mentally, emotionally, and sustainably healthy for everyone long-term.
Real change comes from building a foundation your body can trust:
- Supporting your body with the right kind of strength work
- Preserving and building muscle
- Reducing overall stress, including diet stress — this is where yoga has been key for me
- Eating enough protein and fiber
- Practicing consistency without perfection
- Recovering well
- Moving in ways that support your joints, bones, metabolism, and nervous system
- Building something you can actually sustain
A Few Questions I Hear Often
Is HRT what helped you lose weight?
I do use HRT, and it has supported my overall wellbeing. But it took time, discernment, and the right provider support to find an approach that worked for my body. Earlier in the journey, I tried HRT pellets, and that experience was not right for me.
For me, HRT was not the primary weight-loss tool. The biggest changes came from strength training, healing my relationship with food, and then dialing in nutrition in a sustainable way. [2]
How much strength training do you recommend?
For most people, I recommend two to four times per week. [4]
Two times per week is a strong minimum. Three to four times per week tends to create better results for strength, muscle preservation, metabolic health, and body composition — especially when the training is progressive, sustainable, and joint-friendly. [4]
What makes Strength45 different?
Strength45 is designed for longevity.
It is not about punishment, exhaustion, or chasing soreness. It is about building resilient tissue, strong bones, muscle, metabolic capacity, cardiovascular demand, coordination, balance, and confidence. [4]
We use progressive overload, metabolic chains, rest-based interval training, and SAYF Movement principles so people can build strength within a progressive range of motion that supports pain-free, joint-friendly movement while reducing unnecessary strain.
The goal is not to shrink the body. The goal is to build the physiological capacity to age with strength, energy, adaptability, and freedom.
What about tendons or joint issues?
For tendons, joints, and long-term resilience, remember that tendons adapt more slowly than muscles. In the first several months of consistent strength training, many people do well working with moderate repetitions to fatigue — often around 8–15 reps — while focusing on control, alignment, and steady progression. As your tendons and connective tissues build capacity, heavier weights and lower rep ranges can be introduced more intelligently. [11]
I also love slow strength training for tendon health, especially slow eccentric training. [11]
Eccentric training means emphasizing the lowering phase of a movement. For example, lowering slowly into a squat, lowering weights slowly from a biceps curl, or slowly controlling the descent of a deadlift pattern.
Think two to five seconds on the lowering phase of each rep, at a pace that works for your body.
Lowering something heavy teaches you how to hold challenge without collapsing. It builds resilience not just in your body, but in your nervous system — reminding you that effort can be safe, intensity can be steady, and you can move through both with awareness.
Slow eccentric training can support: [11]
- Strength development
Muscles are often stronger in the lowering phase than in the lifting phase, which makes eccentric work a powerful strength stimulus. - Muscle growth stimulus
Slow lowering increases mechanical tension, one of the key drivers of strength and muscle adaptation. - Joint and tendon resilience
Controlled eccentric loading can help improve tendon capacity and connective tissue strength over time. - Time under tension
Slowing down increases how long your muscles are working during each rep, which can support strength gains without needing to constantly increase weight. - Control and coordination
Eccentric work builds neuromuscular awareness, helping your body move with more precision, stability, and efficiency. - Mobility and strength together
Training with control while muscles lengthen helps develop strength through range, which is essential for long-term movement health.
Nuts are a nourishing food, but I think of them primarily as a fat source that contains some protein.
They can absolutely be part of a healthy diet, but if someone is trying to significantly increase protein, nuts usually are not the most efficient way to get there. Fish, chicken, turkey, lean beef, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, tofu, tempeh, edamame, lentils, beans, and high-quality protein powders may be more helpful depending on your preferences and needs. [7]
What if I’m pescatarian or vegan and need more protein?
Pescatarian protein can be very doable with a little planning. Helpful options may include fish, shellfish, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, tofu, tempeh, edamame, lentils, beans, and protein smoothies. [7]
For those who eat vegan, pea protein can be an excellent way to supplement daily protein. The key is to build protein into each meal rather than trying to make up the difference at the end of the day. [7]
How important is fiber?
Fiber has been one of the most important anchors for me. I personally aim for a minimum of 30 grams per day. That usually means being intentional with foods like oats, chia, flax, beans, lentils, vegetables, berries, and daily psyllium powder. [8]
Fiber supports so much more than digestion. It can support gut health, elimination, satiety, cholesterol metabolism, blood sugar regulation, and overall metabolic health. [8]
Can you help me personally?
Yes. I mostly do group work because of limited time, but I do offer some one-on-one consulting.
For nutrition support, it is helpful to bring a few days of what you typically eat and drink. No shame, no judgment. Just write down anything and everything you eat or drink over a typical three to five days.
We can also talk through what your strength and fitness workouts look like. It is just as important to understand whether someone is overtraining as it is to understand whether they are undertraining. Stress matters too — especially for business owners, caregivers, and people carrying a lot of responsibility.
At this life stage, weight can come on quickly, and I do believe it is worth addressing the trend early with care, honesty, and skill. I say this because I know how much harder it can feel once the body has adapted to a new pattern — and I also know that change is possible.
It has taken me years of trial and error, education, and lived experience to understand what actually helps.
My Background and Approach
I am a longevity-focused movement educator, yoga teacher, author, presenter, and founder of Flow Yoga Studio in Hood River, Oregon. I have been teaching and leading community-based movement education for nearly 30 years. I am an ACE Faculty member, ACE Certified Personal Trainer, ACE Orthopedic Exercise Specialist, E-RYT 500, YACEP, AYC Level 3 Yoga Teacher, and the creator of SAYF Yoga and Movement Education and SAYF Myofascial Integration. I also hold a B.S. from Washington State University and am certified through BodyMind Academy as a Fitness and Nutrition Consultant.
My work bridges yoga philosophy, biomechanics, strength training, nervous system education, myofascial health, metabolic conditioning, and sustainable movement practices for women across the lifespan. With decades of experience in yoga, fitness, cycling, strength conditioning, nutrition education, and teacher training, I specialize in helping people move through midlife and menopause with greater strength, confidence, mobility, metabolic health, and self-trust.
In my Strength45 approach, metabolic fitness is not about burning calories or shrinking the body. It is about building the physiological capacity to age with strength, energy, adaptability, and freedom.
My perspective on menopause and longevity is deeply personal. Over three years during menopause, I gained thirty pounds despite doing “all the right things.” I am now grateful for that experience because it taught me so much about metabolism, hormones, body image, diet culture, strength, and self-trust — wisdom I now share with my students and clients.
Over the last six years, I have become leaner, stronger, and healthier than ever before, and I have never felt better. I will turn 60 in February 2027.
My broader approach to longevity is rooted in the belief that aging well is not about pushing harder, shrinking ourselves, or chasing youth. It is about building resilient tissue, strong bones, metabolic health, nervous system capacity, emotional honesty, and a more compassionate relationship with the body.
We do not have to choose between strength and softness. We do not have to choose between discipline and peace. We can build strong bodies and heal our relationship with them at the same time.
That, to me, is the deeper work of menopause, metabolism, and longevity.
It is about more than losing weight.
It is about coming home to yourself.
Sources & Further Reading
[1] The Menopause Society. “Midlife Weight Gain.” MenoNote.
This source explains that midlife and menopause are associated with changes in weight, body composition, abdominal fat distribution, sleep, stress, and metabolic health.
https://menopause.org/wp-content/uploads/for-women/MenoNote-Weight-Gain.pdf
[2] The North American Menopause Society. “The 2022 Hormone Therapy Position Statement of The North American Menopause Society.” Menopause. 2022.
This position statement explains that hormone therapy is effective for menopause symptoms and may have favorable effects on abdominal fat and diabetes risk, but it is not considered a weight-loss drug.
https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/fulltext/2022/07000/the_2022_hormone_therapy_position_statement_of_the.4.aspx
[3] Qi, L., and Cho, Y. A. “Gene-Environment Interaction and Obesity.” Nutrition Reviews. 2008.
This review discusses how genetic tendencies interact with environmental and lifestyle factors such as diet and physical activity in the development of obesity.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3683966/
[4] American College of Sports Medicine. “Physical Activity Guidelines.”
This resource summarizes physical activity recommendations, including muscle-strengthening activities for all major muscle groups at least two days per week.
https://acsm.org/education-resources/trending-topics-resources/physical-activity-guidelines/
[5] Strohacke, K., Carpenter, K. C., and McFarlin, B. K. “Consequences of Weight Cycling: An Increase in Disease Risk?” International Journal of Exercise Science. 2009.
This review discusses weight cycling, physiological adaptations during weight loss, and factors that may contribute to regain, supporting the importance of sustainable approaches rather than repeated quick-fix dieting.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4241770/
[6] Burke, L. E., Wang, J., and Sevick, M. A. “Self-Monitoring in Weight Loss: A Systematic Review of the Literature.” Journal of the American Dietetic Association. 2011.
This systematic review supports dietary self-monitoring as a useful behavior-change strategy for increasing awareness and supporting weight-management efforts.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3268700/
[7] Nunes, E. A., Colenso-Semple, L., McKellar, S. R., et al. “Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Protein Intake to Support Muscle Mass and Function in Healthy Adults.” Journal of Cachexia, Sarcopenia and Muscle. 2022.
This review discusses protein intake in relation to resistance training, muscle mass, and strength outcomes.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8978023/
[8] Mayo Clinic. “Dietary Fiber: Essential for a Healthy Diet.”
This resource summarizes how dietary fiber supports digestion, cholesterol, blood sugar regulation, satiety, and overall health, and includes examples of high-fiber foods such as oats, beans, fruits, vegetables, and psyllium.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/fiber/art-20043983
[9] Hall, K. D., and Chow, C. C. “Why Is the 3500 kcal per Pound Weight Loss Rule Wrong?” International Journal of Obesity. 2013.
This article explains why body-weight change is dynamic rather than perfectly linear, while still supporting the broader idea that consistent energy patterns matter over time.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3859816/
[10] Deloose, E., Janssen, P., Depoortere, I., and Tack, J. “The Migrating Motor Complex: Control Mechanisms and Its Role in Health and Disease.” Nature Reviews Gastroenterology & Hepatology. 2012.
This review describes the migrating motor complex as a cyclic motility pattern of the stomach and small intestine that occurs during fasting/interdigestive periods and is interrupted by feeding.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22450306/
[11] Harris-Love, M. O., Seamon, B. A., Gonzales, T. I., et al. “Eccentric Exercise: Adaptations and Applications for Health and Performance.” Journal of Functional Morphology and Kinesiology. 2021.
This review explains eccentric exercise and discusses muscle and tendon adaptations, strength development, and applications for health, rehabilitation, and performance.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8628948/